Recently I have felt the urge to write a few things again. The thing that hinders me is that I usually get these mind boggling ideas when I’m in bed lying awake for 2-3 hours at night trying to fall asleep. Remember what I said recently about being exhausted.. well this is probably one of the big reasons I get to that point. I can be yawning early on around 8 pm and thinking I’m going to sleep great tonight! So the wind down begins. I close my book, saunter to the kitchen for a bottle of water then it’s lights out and moving into my private domain. Side note- I have quite a process that I go through before “trying” to fall asleep. It’s a little embarrassing.. I think I might be a high maintenance sleeper.
First I check our nest for 67 degrees setting. Turn down the bed, place my water bottle strategically then into the bathroom for face washing, teeth brushing, etc. (initially I wrote out all the things I do but you don’t really care about my nighttime before bed habits so I deleted them) then I’m ready for bed. Oh wait, fill up the cool mist humidifier because the Preacher has to have fan on year round and our bedroom seems to be airtight. By now my feet are cold which makes for an uncomfortable few minutes warming up once I’m under the covers, poor Preacher. Then chapstick and nasal gel for my always dry sinuses, pillow on the cold side and commence sleeping. Haha wring! Within approximately 3 minutes my body temperature has adjusted and I’m now having a hot flash and have to throw the comforter off of my side of the bed. Then I need water and fanning myself. The poor Preacher is used to it. I’m really grateful that he has a sense of humor. Ok now it’s time to relax.
With the lights out I begin to think about and pray for my family, all 20 bazillion of them, close guesstimate (Thank You God for the privilege of prayer, please bless by loved ones for the night and day ahead). I’m not telling you this to appear spiritual, because I’m not. I only know that when I was a young mom there were at least 2 people praying for me and our family every day and am convinced it is what helped us get through so many adjustments and truly just the flurry of every day life (God thank You for life with seven kids). I eventually doze off only to wake myself up snoring about 20 minutes later. Then is when the sleep battle begins. The thought train starts the clickety clack down the rails of my mind and I come up with all kinds of to do lists for our house,(God please help me be more content) for the garden I want to plant soon (Lord I do not have a green thumb but hose sunflowers were amazing last year, a repeat performance would be lovely)
and what can I sell on FB Marketplace to declutter our basement. (God I’m sorry we have too much stuff). From there I am recalling conversations I had during the day where I said something I shouldn’t have (God please forgive my unruly tongue). Roll over, flip my pillow, breath slow, count sheep and try to fall asleep again, then laugh to myself as I’m reminded of the sweet, silly picture I received of a beloved grandchild today (God thank You for my grand babies). This pattern may continue for a few hours until I finally drop off into a pretty deep sleep that lasts til around 4 am when nature calls and I shuffle to the bathroom and return cold, wide awake and back to thinking all the thoughts.
So maybe I will jot down some of the thoughts I’m thinking instead of just thinking them. Then maybe I will get some sleep. Maybe..
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